i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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