we have officially lost it.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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