I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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