Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
