eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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