this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
