im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
