do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
