so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
