whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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