Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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