Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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