Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
