she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
