I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
