My nipple is on Facebook.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize