The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
