I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
