literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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