Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
