Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
