my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
