p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
