so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
