Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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