he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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