she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It's just like the Real World with babies
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
