TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
