He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am mentally ready for anal.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
