btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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