is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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