I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
