He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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