Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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