Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize