The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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