ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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