even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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