I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
