im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
