last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
