Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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