The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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