so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you win again, gameday.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
