Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
