Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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