Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize