Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
