It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I party with great urgency now.
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