when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
