I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
