gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
