At least make sure they are 18
Why
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
