i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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