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• (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?

  Fav 8 1104 2032

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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• (805): View more from California

  Is the party worth it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  I am drink. Beer pony and singing.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.

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• (707): View more from California

  I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?

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• (559): View more from California

  Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.

  Fav 0 64 9

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