I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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