dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
