i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
And then he peed in my hair
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