when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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