I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
