you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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