Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
please come you make the beer taste better
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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