dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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