Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
